Dear Dunder Mifflin…I Resign

‘Dunder Mifflin, Inc.’
courtesy of ‘Marcin Wichary’

Dear Mr. Wallace:

I’ve been a faithful employee of Dunder Mifflin going on five years now. I loved showing up each week; my fellow employees were quirky, endearing and awesome. Even my boss, Michael Scott, was fun – if a bit clueless. He had his redeeming qualities, which made him sufferable through his more manic periods.

But lately, ever since the merger and that whole Jan fiasco, life at D-M has been painful. I don’t rush to get out of bed on Thursdays anymore. And I cringe now when I walk in the door. I don’t know, maybe it’s me and not you.

See, my boss seems to be suffering from a breakdown. He’s turned into a thirty year-old child on a constant basis now; I can’t rely on him to effectively run my business any more. I’ve not seen quality salesmanship from him in a while and I’m concerned that his focus is not on the business and our clients, but instead in this reckless pursuit of, well, everything else.  I honestly feel like I’m in high school again and I can’t take it any more.

My co-workers have also gotten more freakish. Before, I knew Meredith was a loner – quiet, affable but pretty much ketp to herself. But lately? She’s like some washed-up hooker eager for alcohol and sex and pretty blatant about it now, even exchanging sex for favorable supplier terms. Toby, the HR guy, won’t even address it – but then again, he avoids everything anyway.

And I still don’t understand why Ryan, that temp-turned-corrupt VP-turned-ex-con-turned-temp, is even allowed to work here? I know Michael’s unhealthy man-crush is partially to blame, but I also hold the company responsible. I can’t even leave my briefcase out with him around because I’m concerned he’ll steal it and go buy a thimble of blow.

We won’t discuss Dwight. I’ve been told by Toby you have several cartons of memos on him (or by him?) and frankly, it’s all true. All of it.

So I’m leaving. I have to. When it gets to the point where the office is nothing but a fun house freakshow, where no real work gets done but apparently everyone’s laundry is out for all to see and play with, it’s just not a worthwhile investment in my time and talent. Consider this my notice; I gave two weeks already and there’s no changing my mind.

I hope D-M survives this recession. But until you fix that Scranton branch, I highly doubt it.

I’d wish you luck…but I think Kevin ate it.

Sincerely,

Me

A Time of War, in Beta

If you’ve not heard the news by now, Catalyst Game Labs has released for a limited time, their new core rulebook for the BattleTech RPG in a “beta release.” For $10, you can download the PDF, go hunting for errors, submit a ’story seed,’ and then get the free, full upgrade when the final version is cycled.

It’s a similar move to what Paizo did with their Pathfinder RPG a while back.

Oh, and as usual, the core book has short fiction interspersed with the chapters, but with a twist from the other books: all of the fiction stories tie together as a recon squad heads out on a scout mission. The overall story and characters were sketched by yours truly, as well as writing the head- and capstone stories. The in-between action was picked up by several other capable BT writers, including Kevin K., Jason Hardy, Steve Mohan (I love his the best) and Jim Rapkins. It’s a great read, if I do say so myself.

So go, buy, scour, report, and enjoy.

I suppose I should update this thing. And I will, I swear. Just….not right now. Lots going on, much in the air – all good, mind you – and I am having a hard time just settling down for 5 minutes to do something without getting distra

War Of The Worlds : Goliath

Holy Freakin’ COW.

All I gotta say is, count me in line to buy this when it comes out in February some month next year:

More about “War Of The Worlds : Goliath” here. Watch the trailer. It’s stunning.

John Mackey, I Could Hug You

(I won’t go as far as kiss you, though. My lips are reserved for my wife and maybe a deserving relative.)

John Mackey, CEO of Whole Foods – a store I adore when I can afford it – had a recent op-ed in the WSJ. Aside from his awesome eight suggestions, the man GETS IT:

Many promoters of health-care reform believe that people have an intrinsic ethical right to health care—to equal access to doctors, medicines and hospitals. While all of us empathize with those who are sick, how can we say that all people have more of an intrinsic right to health care than they have to food or shelter?

Health care is a service that we all need, but just like food and shelter it is best provided through voluntary and mutually beneficial market exchanges. A careful reading of both the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution will not reveal any intrinsic right to health care, food or shelter. That’s because there isn’t any. This “right” has never existed in America.

Even in countries like Canada and the U.K., there is no intrinsic right to health care. Rather, citizens in these countries are told by government bureaucrats what health-care treatments they are eligible to receive and when they can receive them. All countries with socialized medicine ration health care by forcing their citizens to wait in lines to receive scarce treatments.

Although Canada has a population smaller than California, 830,000 Canadians are currently waiting to be admitted to a hospital or to get treatment, according to a report last month in Investor’s Business Daily. In England, the waiting list is 1.8 million.

[bolded for emphasis]

Thank goodness someone had the celery to state the obvious. Now if only our politicos would pay attention…

And as an aside, in case people wondered where I actually stood on this issue – I leave you with Mackey’s final paragraph, which I totally agree with 100%:

Health-care reform is very important. Whatever reforms are enacted it is essential that they be financially responsible, and that we have the freedom to choose doctors and the health-care services that best suit our own unique set of lifestyle choices. We are all responsible for our own lives and our own health. We should take that responsibility very seriously and use our freedom to make wise lifestyle choices that will protect our health. Doing so will enrich our lives and will help create a vibrant and sustainable American society.

Chew on that, Mr. Obama. And pass the veggie dip.